My True Self

There are 2 Homework's listed here that I did.  One can be pretty rough for some folks.  Please take what you need and leave the rest!  I am not suggesting that anyone does either of these homework's.  The second homework can be pretty fun, though.  Especially if you save it, and look at it down the road in your sobriety.   

Here I have an exercise to help you find YOUR TRUE SELF once again.  This is one of a couple different types of these that I have.  I would not do this homework until AFTER you have done your fourth and fifth step, and maybe even farther into your program!  This can be painful.  You should be able to see this in some of the examples that I listed.  You are basically stating how you have changed due to your fears, resentments, selfishness, and dishonesty.  I an not a doctor, or a counselor.  This homework is not endorsed or suggested by 12 step programs, just something that I picked up along the way.  If you are unsure of doing this, then ask your sponsor, or simple DON’T DO IT.  I am only sharing what I have done, this may not be for you.  Do this at your own will and risk.  I have tried to list examples for you in each set of questions.  You will have to list your own answers.  My examples are in Green.

1)      Make two columns:  Fears/dreams

a.       Fear:  Example - That I will be physically incapable of giving the massages I desire to.

b.      Dream:  Example -Then I will be capable of giving the massages that I desire to.

 2)      Resentments that are hindering me from becoming my true Self:

a.       That I had to go through what I did in my childhood and as an/a adult – younger and older.

b.      That I am not able to be me already…Mad at self and God.

 3)      My selfishness:

a.       That I don’t share more and work harder with my sponsee’s.

b.      That I don’t call my friends more and dedicate more time to them.

 4)      Lack of True Desire to Know Myself:  Dishonesty:

a.       I am a deceiver of self.

b.      I lie about my health and work to be allowed to continue working.

c.       I lie to be funny sometimes.

d.      I may lie out of confusion.

e.       I have lied out of self preservation.

 5)      Experiences in my life that have caused me to shut down and protect myself:  (Examples)

a.       Sexual abuse as a child:  Mental and physical.

b.      Not being believed about the real situation going on for me as a child.

  6)      Another element that goes into loosing ourselves is:

a.       “Well, if I can’t loose them I’ll join them.” – People pleasing.  I begin to evaluate myself by somebody else’s perception.

b.      How I work hard and go out of my way to please others:  The con can become real and very destructive:  You can get caught in it so badly that you’ll never get out of it. 

c.       How I have put someone else’s opinion of me above my own and how I worked to please them.

                                                               i.      Humor

                                                             ii.      Lies

                                                            iii.      Thievery

                                                           iv.      Sex

                                                             v.      Drugs/alcohol

                                                           vi.      Mood condensing

                                                          vii.      Hiding my feelings/my fears

                                                        viii.      Act sweet, small, and defenseless to receive the pity I required.

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